I was very lucky to find this gem from the Last Splash era. The title track is my favorite, sounding a lot punchier and punk influenced than is typical for the band. Shocker in Gloomtown is a Guided By Voices cover for which they made an awesome video. I featured it a while back on Music Video Monday… check it out.
All these songs are short and sweet. This is definately one of my favortite Breeders releases. Hope you enjoy.
Target Women, which used to be my favorite online video series, has been sort of *meh* recently. It seemed like show host Sarah Haskins was running out of ideas. If the newest episode, which tears Broadview Security a new one, is any indicator Haskins may still have a few gems left for us. Fingers crossed!
So, I know it’s kind of 90’s and juvenile of me (like saying Catcher in the Rye is your favorite book), but Douglas Coupland* is my favorite fiction author of all time. I just found out that he has a new book conveniently coming out in in time for Christmas. I want to read it immediately, but since I am having a hard time thinking of things I actually want/need for presents this year, I’m trying really hard to not buy myself these things once they occur to me… So, no copy of Generation A for me till December 25th.
From what I can gather, the book takes place in the near future when all the bees have died (you’ve heard about how that’s happening, right?). A few young people become famous when they are stung by miracle bees that somehow survived the extinction. I’m a little confused by the next plot point, but apparently they are then rounded up by the government and brought to a secret island and forced to tell stories or something. I’m sure it will make sense in that absurd Coupland-esque way.
For now, I’m just enjoying some of the teaser video’s on youtube that his publisher has put up. I especially like the following one where Coupland is locked in a room and forced to answer questions from an unseen robot lady. There are unfortunately these stupid fake commercials scattered throughout the interview which I recommend just ignoring….
*never heard of him? I immediately order you to go out and read the following four books:
Before our big gay cruise last month Paul and I spent a day in L.A., basically just driving around and visiting stores. We didn’t buy much (besides a bunch of records at Amoeba) but we did get to indulge in mind numbing fantasy shopping at some of our favorite clothing stores. Before we left Portland, I made a list of the stores at which said fantasy shopping would occur (*SIDENOTE*: I’m the type of person who obsessively makes lists and itineraries whenever I travel. I like my fun planned out in advance. Paul on the other hand prefers to just piss into the wind on vacation. This is a constant point of contention when we travel, but since Paul is the one who does the driving, he tends to win that particular argument by default. *END SIDENOTE*), and of course boutique Opening Ceremony held the number one spot.
I’ve wanted to visit since they opened their first location in NYC in 2002. Incidentally, that was about the same time that Paul and I moved away from the East coast. It took 5 years for Opening Ceremony to follow us to the West Coast, and then another two years for me to actually have an excuse to visit L.A. (which I hate and, in case you didn’t know, is the worst place. ever.)
When we got to the address, we were immediately confused by the building. It is HUGE, and has like 14 doors, none of which are labeled, and only two of which actually open. At one point we ended up standing in the area where they keep the dumpsters and a coffee can for employee cigarettes, furiously shaking a metal gate that led into an alleyway that maybe went to what might have been the entrance or at least the emergency fire escape?
Much like a good fantasy novel, the hero must complete a quest to claim their prize. They must travel great distances into ravaged enemy territory (*ahem, cough, L.A.*), facing successive challenges and making hard choices. We might not have been saving middle-earth, but our prize couldn’t have been more precious:
Awesome shoes.
Here are three of my favorites. If any Gaycondo readers are secret millionaires and feel like buying me a $350 present, the Opening Ceremony website would be a good place to start.
Dixie Longate is an off-broadway solo-act performer and Tupperware sales lady. Her show, “Dixie’s Tupperware Party” has earned her the title of “America’s #1 Tupperware Sales person”.
Currently, the Alabama born Dixie has taken her show on the road, creating Tupperware converts across the country. Her routine, a mixture of humorous, brass, endearing and informational performance, makes anyone in Dixie’s path fall in love with her and (even more importantly) her product.
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Jon Miller: There are so many products that are sold at “door to door” style parties similar to your own. Some, such as sex toys and make-up, seem like a more obvious choice for a salesperson as brassy and fabulous as yourself. What made you gravitate towards Tupperware?
Dixie Longate: Well, my parole officer was the one who got me started in Tupperware. I guess I was always pretty good at sales looking back. I mean the amount of times I would leave the trailer in the morning to go to school with empty pockets and by lunch time, end up with enough Lincoln’s to buy half of the cafeteria a pint of 2% milk, well, lets just say, it made this 4th grader pretty proud. My parole officer told me when I got released that I needed a job in order to get my kids back. Seeing how the restraining order prevented me even going into certain parts of town after 6pm, I told her that it was just a ridiculous idea. Well, she worked her magic as only a lesbian in the police force can do, and Shazaam, I started selling these fantastic bowls.
When I did my first party, I was terrible. I would pick up a bowl and call it a spoon! I was knocking everything over. I have to admit, I was just plain nervous. Not the nerves you get on a first date when you have seen his dirty pictures on the internet and you are just biding time till you get to hop in the back seat and verify that it was a real picture in his profile. Not that kind of nervous. I mean truly nervous.
I hadn’t sold anything for ages.
But when the host of the party brought me out a cocktail and didn’t charge me for it and then people started buying things and giving me money, I felt a little shiver come crawling up my spine. I couldn’t imagine actually getting paid to drink for free. Right then and there, I knew I had found the job for me.
JM: You must be the most radical thing to happen to the Tupperware brand since it’s inception. How did you successfully pitch the idea for your show to the Tupperware corporation?
DL: You have to keep in mind that although the creation of the products was all from the mind of Earl Tupper, it took a woman named Brownie Wise to actual take the products off of the shelves and create the Tupperware Party. She was a revolutionary business woman back in the day. She was the one who figured out that in order to sell brand new, space age, non-breakable bowls, with an air-tight seal to women in the kitchen, she had to actually bring them into the kitchen. Back then, that was a very radical idea. I mean, selling products door to door was nothing new, but to bring women together and get them in a buying frenzy in the middle of their own living room, well, that was truly breaking every sales tradition that was out there. Tupperware has always been a pretty progressive company I think. You really have to be progressive and ever-changing and filled with incredible vision to be able to get a company whose mainstay is plastic bowls to be able to remain success and survive for 65 years. It’s no easy feat. And who hasn’t heard of a Tupperware Party? Everyone knows about it whether you have been to one or not. That is what is so remarkable about the brand.
When I asked them if they would let me keep selling their products and bring them to a whole new group of people that probably forgot that Tupperware even existed, well, I have to give them tons of credit. They approached the idea with lots of integrity and lots of smiles. That is why I still love working for Tupperware all these years later.
JM: In your show, you can sometimes come across as a bit….confrontational. Do people in the audience ever not get the joke?
DL: Sadly, sometimes people sit there and end up all grim-faced and frowny. I don’t understand that. I mean if everyone around is laughing and having a good time, why are you working so hard to be moody? What does that get you in life? I am a woman with 3 kids from the not too good area of Mobile, Alabama. Where I grew up, you had to get good at fighting for what you believe in. I never had much money and it didn’t look like I was going to have all that good of a future. I really struggled for a good long time and I have to tell you, I earned my right to be where I am. So many people who are looking down their nose at me probably didn’t have to lift a finger to get where they are. When they are having a miserable time in life, it gets my back up. I am just here trying to spread some love and uplift some people. I want people to understand that they are in control of their own lives and there is so much more out there for most people than they can ever even dream of. Sometimes, when I come up against someone who is grim-faced, I get a bit stern I guess. It comes from raising three kids on my own. I never want to be mean, but I will tell you, I’m not a push over either. If people are being slugs at the Tupperware Party, and taking away from other people’s enjoyment, well, don’t start crying when I get up in your face and tell you to shape up. It is what we call “tough love” back at home. You might not like it, but it is how you grow.
JM: You are billed as “the #1 Tupperware seller in the US and Canada”. How competitive is the business? Do you have any Tupperware enemies as a result of your success?
DL: Currently, I have slid in sales a bit. I don’t know if it is the economy or that people don’t really get that they can buy Tupperware at the shows, but I am still working everyday to stay on top. After all, that is what a good Christian does. I go to the Jubilee Convention every year and watch as new people get on stage for recognition. It is so amazing to watch people stand onstage and be cheered for and respected like they have never been before in their lives. And they did all of this on their own. This is by virtue of their own work and ingenuity. That, I have to say, earns them respect from me every time. You know the funny thing; the people that I am standing onstage at the top with, they are never jealous or ungracious about success. Last year, when I earned the Top spot, I remember standing onstage with another gal who had worked her tail off all year. Right before they announced me as #1, she turned to me and grabbed my hand and said,”I just have to tell you this. I am so proud of you. Congratulations.” Now THAT is a classy lady. I have a picture of her on my desk where I put in my Tupperware orders. The people who work the hardest are never the ones who give you grief. It is the people who aren’t successful who are always jealous and saying that others are bad because of this, that and the other thing. ”I can’t get anyone to host a party cause Dixie takes them all from me. I can’t sell lots cause I have four kids and I work full-time. It’s not fair that I’m not onstage getting recognized because I worked just as hard.” Shut up you damn whore. Stop making excuses for the lack of your success. Ain’t nobody going to hand it to you. You gotta earn it. Hell, I did. Do you think someone just came up and gave me almost a quarter of a million dollars in sales last year when I was #1? Hell, no. I had to earn every single one of those sales. I did party after party, and sold bowl after bowl. I didn’t make excuses, and I was rewarded for it. That is my advice to people I guess. Stop looking at others as the problem. Take that time that you are bellyaching about something and get off your duff and do something about it. Because you know what is more fun that bitching about what you don’t have? It’s earning the things that you do have. Amen! I’m proud of what I have achieved and you know what, I am proud of every single guy and gal that I stand on stage with at the Jubilee every year, cause I know they have worked every bit as hard as I have. I respect those people. That is who I look to the for advice. You want to do better in life? Get a better group of people to hang out with.
The cream always rises.
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If you live someplace kind of boring (sorry Minneapolis!), then soon you just might get the chance to see Dixie live!
Uh-oh! Only a few more months til the end of 2009 and there are still tons of records to review! Luckily, one of my favorite local Portland duos, Slutty Hearts, squeezed in their debut EP/CD, “Monster”, release on October 30th!
Listen to Slutty Hearts “God Damned Sun”
CDs are in trouble.
The content of the formerly beloved medium has been castrated as it goes through the intangible myriad of technology – the age of digital music players, it’s physical remains inevitably ending up on the floor of a car – a scattered plastic cemetery – or is laid to rest in the lonely depths of one’s closet. Though even as CDs edge towards the music industry apocalypse, independent bands are still hosting CD release parties and using the medium to spread their sonic love. Today, in order for the CD to survive and revive it’s importance in the physical world (and compete against the resurgence of vinyl records), bands must get creative.
Portland based duo, Slutty Hearts, are one of these bands. Armed with a glue stick, a stash of magazine clippings and the skeletons of digi-packs and used plastic cases, Slutty Hearts attempt to resurrect the legacy of the CD – making each artifact radiate with originality…
Slutty Hearts music is equally charming and DIY in nature as they cut and paste the best elements of lo-fi garage rock in their five song debut EP entitled “Monster”. It’s gritty, it’s raw, it’s sexy, it’s a bewitching vamp of simplicity, it’s a modern take on late 60’s garage rock.
“GOD DAMNED SUN” begins with a moody guitar thrust that is reminiscent of both early PJ Harvey and The Kills. Marisa Laurelle’s sweet-sung vox soften the edgy punch of Marty Smith’s ramblings. It sounds like sucking out the venom of an ex lover in a heart break hotel.
“GIMMIE” : Oh how we lust after what we have not! Slutty Hearts explore what they want the very most in this life in this bitchy little tune. Is it really too much to desire a $100 scotch or have a fabulous ass? (Disclaimer: Probably not the best song to play to children who aren’t already feeling entitled as the chorus of “Gimmie More” is quite catchy).
“ARE WE THERE YET” : Quite the comedown from the first songs, this track is a sleepy drive home beginning with a slowly strummed guitar and singer Marisa Laurelle’s slightly sad vocals. This band has a knack for excellent vocal melody. Halfway through the song there is an explosion of sonic mayhem in the form of feedback oozing off of a theramin – a reverent salut to bands from the 90’s who missed the underground cool of the 60’s.
“EVEN THE STARS”: As Marisa Laurelle croons, “even the sun prefers the night” I look out my window and declare this the perfect song for this town as Portland starts to dim at 11:27AM. The world seems to die every second as we edge closer to darkness. There’s talk of parties and discos in the sky. Almost country in it’s tone, I thought I heard the spirit of Johnny Cash whispering towards the end, “even sometimes the stars go out”.
“MONSTER”: The hearts bring back the beat with the final track of this excellent debut. Sweet as spiked soda-pop the song has an undercurrent of nostalgia for young romance and simpler times: like falling in love in front of a car stereo. “Monster” is poppy, upbeat and an uplifting way to end a record.
MORE OF KEEP IT ON THE BROWNLOWE’S BEST RECORDS OF 2009:
So we hope you enjoyed our last txt msg rvw of Whip It! In theory, we would keep doing it for all the movies we see… But we don’t actually go out to that many movies. Instead we present you with a txt msg rvw of a recent Dan Savage article from the Stranger (Seattle’s alt-weekly), Happy Heteroween. Basically, Dan postulates that halloween has become the straight equivalent of gay pride, a night where straights folks can get wasted and flaunt their sexuality as much as they like and hopefully get laid! Oh, and everyone that bemoans sexy halloween costumes is kind of a party pooper that hates sex.
*Special note: we both really love Dan Savage! We also love discourse and feminism, hence this critical review.
Nickey: So, dude, tell me your thoughts on Heteroween! Legitimate expression of sexuality, or just another way to oppress the ladyfolk?
Gaby: It’s like the spice girls- could be a platform for liberation, but ends up being a gross capitalist baby t party.
Gaby: Like I rarely feel like girls are actually expressing themselves. I always want dan savage to be right and I get so sad when he is wrong.
Nickey: I agree. How is a white girl in a Poke A Hottie costume doing anything good for the world?
Nickey: Like, I guess it’s good if you feel sexually liberated by wearing a stripper outfit one night a year, but a really unfortunate number of costumes are really regressive and offensive. Am I being oversensitive when I say a sexy lawyer woman’s costume just seems to diminish women in the workforce?
Gaby: Aw man I was hoping we would disagree and have a battle of the minds! Everyone knows that is blog ratings gold!
Nickey: Ok well… I mean, I’m all for being sexy! I love mini skirts!
Gaby: I think it’s good if you actually can somehow put it [sexy halloween sexual liberation] to use in your real life, like now you are sexually liberated all the time… hmmm sounds like we should have interviewed more people before this txt conversation.
Nickey: Ha ha.
Gaby: I just want to believe but don’t believe that one night is enough to change someone from object to subject.
Nickey: This what I want out of heteroween: more straight boys in short shorts!
Gaby: Slutty prince eric from the little mermaid? I could get behind that.
Nickey: Agreed!
Gaby: Also i feel like the critique of slutoween is just more of people yelling at girls over the internet.
The "pocahottie" costume. Halloween- a time of year when it's ok to be a racist jerk!
Nickey: Dan Savage seems to have this overly rosey view of what it means to be involved with straight culture. Like somehow halloween when straight folks get to objectify each other, but it’s still mostly men objectifying women. Hence why I want more boys in short shorts.
Gaby: Well it’s still only about acting out fantasies of the dominant culture. Oh dan!
Gaby: This convo could be more nuanced if i was not eating tostitos with my left hand.
Nickey: So is there any way to be pro AND anti slutoween? Can I hate the concept but still be fine with girls trying to be sexy and get laid?
Gaby: I think so. Like when you jerk it to porn that is made for like a sensitive frat boy.
Nickey. Ha.
Nickey: You’d think dan, of all people, would recognize when something doesn’t leave room lots of kinds od sexuality. Halloween is not GGG*!
Nickey: Heteroween just wants you to give it a blowjob before passing out!
Gaby: ha ha yes.
*GGG= Good, Giving, and Game. It’s an acronym Dan made up to represent what an ideal sexual partner should be.
Early this morning our friend and producer Kipp Crawford was killed when struck by two drunk drivers while riding his bicycle. He was an amazing person, with a strong sense of self and an artistic dedication greater than any other musician we know. We are thankful for the time and energy he put into our band, and know that our previous and upcoming album would not be the same with out his insight ,intelligence, and creativity.
Paul and I are simultaneously reading Julie Powell’s book Julie and Julia, which I’d be embarrassed to admit if it wasn’t so good. As a couple, we are trying to work on being less cynical and judgemental in general, so reading crazy popular books feels like a reasonable place to start.
I’m sure you’ve seen or read enough about the movie version of the book to know the basic premise: lady cooks 524 Julia Childs recipes in one year, craziness ensues, lady becomes famous, the end. I recommend buying a copy. You’ll like it unless your heart is made of frozen turds….
Anyway.
Did I mention I have the flu? Well, I do. It sucks. The fever portion seems to be over, but I’m still congested and coughing, and my left ear I think has a giant snot bubble buried deep inside it from blowing my nose too hard. Geez. As you can imagine, I have spent a lot of time reading, and was inspired by Julie and Julia to convince my husband that we should cook one of the easy (read: stupid easy) recipes from Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Potage Parmentier.
This potato leek soup is super easy to make, and tastes seriously amazing. It’s also very easy to prepare vegan, which we did. Follow the recipe below for some of the best (and healthiest) winter comfort food you’ve ever had!
Ingredients
3-4 cups of diced peeled potatoes (1 lb.)
3 cups thinly sliced leeks, including the tender greens
2 quarts water
1 Tablespoon salt
6 tablespoons heavy cream or 3 tablespoons softened butter (or 3 table spoons vegan Earth Balance)
3 tablespoons minced chives or parsley
Procedure
Simmer vegetables, salt, and water together, partially covered for 40-50 minutes in a 3-4 quart saucepan. Mash the vegetables into the soup. Adjust salt and pepper. You can stop at this point. When ready to serve, bring soup back to simmering. Then off the heat, stir in the cream or butter and top with chopped chives or parsley. 6-8 servings.
Watch this video right now. Just sit still for five minutes, and enjoy it, because you are probably going to cry it’s just so lovely
This is from the wonderful folks at Radio Lab, which is the best radio show on air and you should subscribe to the podcast as soon as you are done watching this video. I recommend starting with the Memory and Forgetting episode or Musical Language episode.
Before boarding the big gay cruise ship we hung out for a day in Los Angeles, West Hollywood to be exact. We did a lot of fantasy shopping at fancy boutiques where we can’t afford anything, and finally ended up buying a ton of shit at Amoeba records in Hollywood. This seven inch was one of the things we picked up, for only $1.99!
The Spirit is Willing
Dusty
And here’s a bonus Ruby Falls track from the Welcome to the Villa Villa Kula Compilation (which Jon bought when he was 16), it’s about being gay…
We’re back from out big fat Gay mexican cruise, and Portland queer cynicism aside, we had a fucking amazing time. We drank, we danced, we lounged by blue water oceans, made new friends, walked around in underwear with about 3000 homos, and ate more gross food than I care to admit.
By the way, did you know that there was a giant turd of a hurricane turding it up all over the Mexican Riviera this past week? There was. His name was Rick. And guess where we were through it all? In a fucking hot tub drinking cocktails in the middle of a 30 foot wave ocean having a blast. At one point I set my drink down and…whoosh…. the over 100 mile per hour wind made it disappear. It was, to say the least, surreal.
To get an idea of what we were getting drunk in dealing with, here is a video from youtube of some other faggots from the boat walking up on deck with hurricane Rick…
In addition to the whole being drunk for 8 days thing, we also went to a bunch of “theater” performances on the boat. Some were organized by Atlantis (gay) and some were organized by Royal Caribbean (lame/straight…except for the figure skating performance which was faggy by default), but regardless most were kinda of….meh.
The best show by far was Dixie Longate’s Tupperware Party. Dixie is America’s number one Tupper Ware sales person…for real. She Travels the country throwing Tupperware parties (think Mary Kay), and basically is just this big, mean, hilarious drag queen. It was so good we saw it twice. Check out this (unfortunately kind of old) video of her….
Basically every night on the boat there was a HUGE dance party. We went to a few, but since we are not really “joiners”, we mostly stood at the side lines and watched. Eventually we got over being too cool for school though and joined in. Did I mention that the dances all have stupid themes? Military, 90’s, Disco, blah blah blah…. The biggest party is the white party. Basically, you just have to wear white.
Of course, neither of us brought a stitch of white clothes, so we had to buy some at the ports. In a moment of insanity, we decided to just buy white underwear, and go to the party basically naked. Luckily, we are cute, so even though it was a little awkward at first, mostly it just ended up being an ego boost as a result of all the compliments we got on our…..outfits.
Here is someone else’s video of the party I found on youtube…
“But where are all the scandalous pictures of Jon and Paul?” I hear you asking yourselves. Well, as most the readers of Gaycondo don’t actually know us or care about seeing candid shots of us in bathing suits, all the pictures are….after the jump!
Slutty Hearts music is equally charming and DIY in nature as they cut and paste the best elements of lo-fi garage rock in their five song debut EP entitled “Monster”. It’s gritty, it’s raw, it’s sexy, it’s a bewitching vamp of simplicity, it’s a modern take on late 60’s garage rock.
“EVEN THE STARS”: As Marisa Laurelle croons, “even the sun prefers the night” I look out my window and declare this the perfect song for this town as Portland starts to dim at 11:27AM. The world seems to die every second as we edge closer to darkness. There’s talk of parties and discos in the sky. Almost country in it’s tone, I thought I heard the spirit of Johnny Cash whispering towards the end, “even sometimes the stars go out”.
