One Sunday in September, Beth and I woke up hungry. We realized we didn’t have any food in the house and would have to go to the grocery store (one of our favorite things!). Gaycondo is located between two grocery stores. One is a full on supermarket and the other is Trader Joes… After debating for a moment we decide to go to Trader Joes to get THE BEST GARLIC HUMMUS EVER.
For weeks, I had been fantasizing about buying a scooter to whizz around town with. I had been bummed that it would take a long time to save up several thousand dollars to buy one. On our way to Trader Joes, Beth spots a yard sale and a red scooter parked on the sidewalk. She suggests we stop to look at it. I am hesitant, hungry and wanting to avoid the disappointment when we realize the scooter belonged to someone who was shopping at the yard sale.
I was astonished when the little red Honda scooter was in fact for sale…and for only $325. I immediately chat up with the old man about it’s condition and he let’s me take it for a spin. I fall in love with the scooter and before I know it Beth and I are driving kamakazi style to the nearest bank to get out $325 in cash. Luckily, we make it back in time and the scooter is mine!!!
When Paul sees the red 1984 Honda Aero scooter in the garage he says it reminds him of the scooter in the 80′s cult classic, The Legend Of Billie Jean. I’m not one to name my possessions; My guitar is called ‘guitar’ and my van is called ‘van’. However, with the reference to the film and my favorite Michael Jackson song, it seemed fit to name the scooter “Billie Jean”.
The Legend of Billie Jean is a very underrated movie from 1985. It isn’t available on DVD. It stars Christian Slater (his “Before He Was Famous” debut film) and Helen Slater as Billie Jean. The whole movie is based upon the abduction of Binx’s (Christian Slater) red 1984 Honda Elite scooter….the cousin model of my scooter.
1984 Honda Elite (featured in TLOBJ)
“Billie Jean” 1984 Honda Aero (featuring hott scooter babe)
The movie has some queer undertones…mostly because the jocks who stole the scooter kept calling it a “fag mobile” and once Billie Jean (Helen Slater) finds out they destroyed it she transforms from a geeky kid sister to a powerhouse of a woman, leading a brigade of *questionably queer* misfits, determined to have justice prevail.
And now, with a beautiful day in Portland, Beth and I are off to ride Billie Jean!
I was going to leave you with a the opening clip from the Legend of Billie Jean, however, the video keeps getting deleted on YouTube! WTF?
Instead, I will leave you with an 1983 performance by Michael Jackson of “Billie Jean”.
LOOK AT THAT FANCY FOOT WORK IN HIGH WATER JEANS REVEALING WHITE SOCKS! OOOH YEAH!:
<3 it!!!
Actually, Christian and Helen aren’t related. Christian once confessed on some talk show (possibly The Tonight Show) that he wanted to go out with Helen, had a crush on her at that time, and goofily figured- if we were to get married, well, we have the last name covered already.
oh my gawd! I am a fact check drop out!!!!
Legend of Billie Jean is one of my favorite movies ever. The scooter is fucking rad.
P.S. I totally own the DVD.
I like your post.
Sometime your idea is correct.
And make me review myself again.
like scooter on the no destination way.