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Oh my god, I am such a faggot……

When you think of me, I hope that many relevant facts pop into your head:

• Fashion expert
• Super awesome drummer
• Tall and cute
• Foot in mouth humor
• Blogger extraordinaire

These things are all true, but what most of you (and by “most” I mean all of you except Paul) don’t know, is that in the area of one particular artistic/athletic endeaver, I was once the 8th best in the world. True fact:

BETWEEN THE AGES OF 10 AND 15 I WAS HIGHLY INVOLVED IN COMPETITIVE FLAG/RIFLE/BATON TWIRLING ON AN INTERNATIONAL LEVEL.

That feels good to get off my chest….

I was a member of the world famous color guard troupe, The Entertainers. Here is a video of them from 2003.

I really wanted to post an actual video of myself, but alas, no one from the mid-nineties era of the troupe has posted on youtube, and all my videos of it are in New Jersey…

But, I do have this:

That’s me with my mom. I was maybe 14 at the time, and already akward and 6′4″. And yes, I’m wearing quite a bit of make-up.

When I was in the Entertainers, it was quite a serious affair. We were put on strict 1000 calorie a day diets,  we practiced for 8hrs a day 6 days a week during the summers, and we traveled the country competing againts troupes from all over the world. I was color guard (flag) co-captain, and helped to keep the troops in line.

I was ranked 8th in the world for my age group (13-18) at the time. But I gave it all up.

Why you ask???

I was a huge homo, and knew that once I was in High School no one would get naked with me if I was such a nerd. It is really sad, I know….

But on the up side, a lot of boys got naked with me in high school…..